Unspeakable Love

My blog URL is changing

2009-02-23T13:26:00.000-08:00

Just letting everyone know that my blog is changing to www.bjgilbert.net

This will be done sometime this week, so go there if you want to stay updated. And don't let all the real estate adds throw you off right now. See ya soon

--BJ

Update

2008-11-16T13:54:00.000-08:00

Well, this is my first post in a little over 2 months. So much has happened between then and now and there is no possible way for me to fit everything into a single blog post, so i'll try to keep this update as short as possible. God has totally rocked my world in these last few months--in a good way. Since the beginning of summer, i figured i would be gearing up to move to Atlanta, Birmingham, Nashville, or some other city to venture out into the world of public accounting. i wasn't making plans, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't expect that. i expected to be working and coming home to my "comfortable, settled" life, starting this January. Well, for this season of my life, those doors have somewhat closed but other doors have opened and new opportunities have emerged and are still emerging. Stepping back to assess the last 1/2 year of my life has shown that this is totally a God thing. These doors shut, not because of qualification issues, but b/c of timing issues, and well......His timing is perfect and this is what He had planned. The Lord is still at work here. He's been teaching me about the life i'm called to live, which is not based on my will, but His. This is all very exciting. The uncertainty of life excites me, it's what makes it an adventure. i'm not immune to fear, but these fears are what keep leading me to the foot of the cross. i feel like the Lord is leading me to a place where i must depend solely on Him. We hear and read about this all the time, but seldom do we live our life as if we are completely dependent on Him. We've got so many distractions surrounding us that depending on our own strength and other people sometimes becomes second nature. i'm speaking to myself as well. The Lord has made it clear that if i don't willingly embrace a completely God-dependent life, He's going to eventually force me into it. So, i can either wonder around in the desert, or venture into the promised land and experience the fullness of all that God has in store---and this is what pumps me up. And this is where i'm going to stop for now. i've got some more details about this that i'm going to write about, but it will be in my next post so this one isn't too long. i wish all of you well. He loves you, as do i.

some thoughts on prayer and life

2008-09-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

Many times i've prayed, and heard other people pray something along the lines of, "God, give me the strength to ........ so that i can stand up to these enemies," or "God, please get me through this situation so that i can..........and be a strong man/woman of God," and other similar things. This is something that i'm really trying not to do in my prayer life. When we pray like that, we are only focused on ourselves and the situation at hand. We/I basically push God out of the way to focus on those things. Now, i do believe that our motives can be right and we just word it this way, but it's still hard for me to make the connection between the two without feeling that something is "off" there. However, it's not my place to make any conclusions b/c God searches and knows the motives of our heart.
Continuing....i think praying for strength is pointless anyway. We were given all the strength we would ever need when we accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. So, we can't get additional strength from anything else b/c it comes from God. i think what we must do is embrace the fact that we are weak and can do nothing apart from Him. It's only when we fully surrender our lives (whether it be school, work, relationships--all types, marriage, raising a family, etc...) to Him that we'll understand what real power is. We were made in His image. We all want our character to be in line with His. But the only way that can happen is if we deny and humble ourselves before Him because He is everything that we are not. So that means focusing on ourselves is focusing on what we are not because we are saved and redeemed sons and daughters of God--that is who we really are. Focusing on ourselves leads to death. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." - Proverbs 14:12 ....AND we can't allow ourselves to be manipulated into thinking things that are really of this world are of God--i've been there and this happens when we've become complacent in our faith. We end up trying to find satisfaction in the things of God and of this world which lead us away from Him. We eventually get to a point where we can't even discern between the things of God and the things of this world and we just live our lives thinking that everything is God....little do we know that we're really killing ourselves and wounding others in the process. We become impatient and allow ourselves to be guided by mere emotion and feeling. Like i mentioned in a previous post--we end up building walls around ourselves and it's just a bad and dangerous place to be. The thing we have to understand is that there is no emotion attached to faith--just because we can't feel it doesn't mean we can't believe it and vice versa. Emotions are like a trailer being pulled by a truck--they will follow along with whatever is in control. If we allow the Spirit to be in control, our emotions/feelings will help us experience God and will lead us to Him. But, if we allow them to control us and we think about ourselves and our situations, we will be led away from God, becoming one with the world and not one with Him. The truth of the world is contrary to the truth of God. What seems like a good idea is actually something that blinds you from the truth and if you stay on that road too long, you end up crashing, possibly wrecking others as well--it's like trying to drive in the fog with your bright lights on.
i pray that our entire lives, including our prayer life will be God-centered. He is our strength, He overcame death and saved us because of His mercy. We did nothing to deserve it. What we long for the most is Jesus, although we sometimes don't realize it. Nothing of this world can satisfy our needs, so there is no use in searching in it. Sometimes when i'm going through tough times, i just want to "get away" from life. We must understand that He is where we go to do that. i've found, and i'm sure you have as well, that to "get-away" in something other than Him, in the end, becomes a huge distraction and we end up walking a path of sin. Everything we need can be found in Him. We need to declare this and embrace the strength we have in Him and live in the truth of who we really are.

who, what, where, when, why, how....but, for WHOM??

2008-08-27T15:05:00.000-07:00

This post is in reference to a friend's blog post that talked about facing tough decisions and trying to discern God's will for our lives. It also proposed our take on adventure.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." 1 Cor 10: 31-33

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Prov. 16:3

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Col 3:16-17

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Col 3:23-24

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." Eph 1:4-12

For me, and i think for everyone, it's not so much about the details of life concerning "what." It's whatever we do, do for Him. In the verses from Ephesians, it says that He works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will. i'm not saying that we can sin and say, "oh, i did it for the Lord" at all, or that we don't/will not have to make tough decisions in life--b/c we will. i'm also not saying that we should put ourselves in bad/dangerous situations where we know that we will be tempted, using "God will work it out" or "I'm a child of God" as a means of justifying it. It becomes extremely tough to guard our heart in those situations, b/c the situation usually keeps us from discerning what is healthy and best for ourselves. However, i think that the main thing we must do is not sin. We shouldn't only think about ourselves when making a decision or what benefits we may reap as a result. We shouldn't try to write a conclusion to something that hasn't happened yet, but embrace where we presently are and where we know that we're going. i think we must put our trust in the Lord that no matter what route we take, He will eventually lead us to where we are supposed to be. Just because we make a decision that causes us to take the long way around doesn't necessarily mean that the decision we made was sinful. If i didn't know what colors mixed together made orange, and i just tried mixing red and blue, i would find that they do not make orange. Not only would i know that but i would find out how to make the color purple. If i continue to mix different colors and then eventually try red and yellow, i will find that they do make orange. i've taken the long way to get to orange through trial and error and i also experienced something cool along the way--i found out how to make the color purple and probably other colors as well. i guess for me, the main thing is to not focus so much on the details of life and ask myself..."Is this God's will for me?", but rather it's "What do i know to be true from His word? i try to focus more on God instead of consuming myself with the decision that has to be made. i then make a decision and stick to it. i know that even if the door ends up closing, at least i'll learn something along the way; at least i'm a child of the most high God, who loves me unconditionally no matter what. Sometimes we have to just go out on a limb since that's where the fruit is, right?--- i remember reading this quote somewhere but i'm not exactly sure where that was.... But it makes sense--the limbs stem from the Trunk and as we reach for the fruit, we may break a few limbs in the process; but we must continue to get up and try again if we want to eat, knowing that we can't use the same limbs as before. But anyway, i'm also not a husband or responsible for raising children yet, and i haven't been thrusted into some major situation where i have to act as an agent on behalf of someone else so i haven't had to make, what you might call, the "super-tough" decisions of life---so all of this is much easier for me to say.
About adventure-- i love adventure. But, i think what i do wrong alot of times is i try to seek out adventure. Point being, because we're children of God, adventure will automatically come our way. When we seek adventure, we end up creating our own personal standards and we make the adventure about ourselves. It seems, so far, that the main adventure in life for me is uncertainty--not knowing what tomorrow will bring--and that is exciting for those who are in Christ. i think we experience adventure everyday and a lot of times we experience adventure but just don't realize/acknowledge it.

NOT me, BUT YOU

2008-08-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

So many times, we (at least this is true for me) end up consuming ourselves with the things of God instead of God himself--the One who created us in His image and gave us passions to pursue to bring glory to His name. The message at encounter last night was quite similar to what's been on my heart lately. It was on the subject of keeping our purpose in check as we pursue passions and goals (things) in life. To sum it up, our purpose is to KNOW HIM and glorify Him in all that we do--to surrender and humble ourselves as we walk through life, to love ourselves and others as He loves us, and everything else in between. The "What" in life will probably change pretty regularly, but the "Why" will never change and when we lose sight of the "Why," we've lost our purpose. We end up coming to the point of trying to find satisfaction in the things of Him--people, school, individual passions, etc... which eventually lead us to a place of unhappiness and loneliness. "Things" end up becoming means in themselves. As a result we end up making life about ourselves and we try to create our own purposes. We build up our own walls to keep other people out of our life and in that, we push God out of our lives as well. Point being, Jesus is the WHY and is the only thing that can bring revelation.

What's been on my heart recently: Our happiness depends on how we respond to God's touch. The areas of our life that bring us pain and suffering and cause us to stumble are the areas that God wants to have control over---this isn't limited to experiencing emotional/physical grief and pain from external circumstances that we have no control over but also the pain and suffering we put on ourselves from the choices we make--usually choices made based on emotions or impulses. God wants to have control over all of this and can if we allow Him to.
Our minds and emotions can prevent us from experiencing the fullness of God. Our mind and emotions are not bad things---He gave them to us to use for His namesake. Our emotions and thoughts were designed to help us engage and focus on God so that we can perceive people and situations/events with His understanding. God is consistently putting His hand on these and other areas of my life and yours. He massages our souls in the form off gentle, quiet realizations and whispers. God doesn't want bad things to happen to us and i don't think He truly wants to take extreme measures to get His point across---He does this quite often when we choose ourselves over Him. We must lay all of our personal ambitions and idols aside and focus on his gentle caress. It's when we choose to consistently take pride in ourselves and base our life on and around the things of this world that extreme measures are allowed to get certain points across. And usually we don't realize what we should have done or been doing until something extreme happens. Or we sometimes, sort of test God by continuing in something that we know is wrong and we try to justify it with something that sounds godly, or that it's permissable b/c of what he/she said or did, or we might say something like.."I'll stop tomorrow, or if I'm in this situation again, I won't do this." This is all going through our head as Christ is continuously speaking to us but we just choose to not respond. And then...BAM!!!---we get blind-sided. Of course, the perception of the magnitude of what we end up experiencing will be different for each of us---what is considered very extreme for one person doesn't necessarily hold true for another. But.....His gentle caress turns more into a slap across the face that knocks us silly. He's basically saying, "Hey!!!!!! Wake Up!......Peel those scales from your eyes and turn to ME!!!!" We must die to ourselves, NOT kill ourselves. The only way that we can die to ourselves and experience the fullness of God is if we allow Him to fully come alive in us. i'm not saying that we won't sometimes experience intense pain and heartache, but we must not make the mistake of focusing on and trying to die to certain issues that are causing that pain. Doing that makes us pre-occupied with what we are not---we are not defined by our sins or insecurities, but by the CROSS! When we live in spirit and truth, Christ makes us occupied with Him. When we allow God to come alive in us, we become alive in Him, and this automatically makes us dead to ourselves. Sure we have struggles, but God knows our struggles and does not condemn us for them, so we shouldn't kill ourselves with condemnation and guilt. It says in His word that His mercies are never-ending and are new everyday--each day is "New," because of His mercy. Despite our insufficiencies, we have the opportunity to enter into His presence every day WITH confidence because of His love and grace. He welcomes us with open arms and embraces us with a huge hug when we run to Him. And......we can't wiggle out of this if we try.

The Beginning of a New Season

2008-08-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

So it's been awhile since i last posted. i'll try to briefly sum up the last month and a half the best that i can. First off and most importantly....What the Lord is doing: God is amazing. i can't express in words how incredibly loved we are but i know for a fact the He is at work in my life, my friends' lives, and millions of other people that i don't know. It's true--He does have the whole world in His hands. i've realized that i've taken many blessings for granted or sometimes just didn't recognize them when He placed them in front of me. He's brought conviction to this area of my life and there is no guilt, which is what the enemy tries to throw my way. God has given me an appreciation, not only for the huge blessings in my life, but for the smaller things as well. Recently, it has mainly been the latter of the two. He has been revealing events and situations from my past where He was trying to bless or teach me something through certain people and i just chose to push it aside and not be appreciative or thankful. For example, i've gotten angry and frustrated with family members for no apparent reason at all, i haven't truly appreciated the love that my family and closest friends have for me (which He was trying to show through their small acts of love), i've brushed off and ignored certain people when i could have given them a little of my time (which is actually His time anyway), i chose to remain spiteful or mad at certain people if what i expected wasn't the result even though He was continuously loving and blessing me through them, and there are others. i think we can all relate to this at some point or another. Sometimes, i try to make my own definition of what it means to love and be loved. Of course, when i do this, i am usually as far from the truth as i can get. Plain and simple, God is love. Love is what it is and at it's core it is no different for anyone. Love is constant and consistent and it perseveres through the most horrible storms. Sure, we show our love in different ways but He loved us first and through His ultimate display of love on the cross, He gave us the ability and privilege to love others for who they are as He loves them and to love ourselves as He loves us. i really am so thankful for all of the people in my life and for His never-ending love and grace. i will praise Him all of my days. Through all of this, the Lord has brought me to a place where i really just enjoy being in His presence and having fellowship with Him. This has made it much easier for Him to grow and teach me and tune my heart and mind to His.

Recent events: i finished up all of my classes at the beginning of this month---yes, i am completely done with college. That's really weird to say, but praise the Lord. i'm working in Auburn for the fall and going through accounting recruiting and interviews. The Lord has blessed me tremendously in all of this and with my living situation, and with a new job. Being in Auburn for the fall was up in the air until about a month ago. By that time, it was really hard to find a place to live that would let me lease for the fall only and i probably would've had to live by myself. i was somewhat stressed and i prayed for the Lord to just take control of that situation and rid me of any worry so that my focus could remain on Him. He was faithful in that and blessed me with an awesome place and Godly community. Through a random conversation with a great friend of mine, John Pritchard, i found out that he had a room available and he said that i was more than welcome to live there for the fall. i moved in about 2 weeks ago. i'm very excited about what the Lord has in store for the season.

i was only able to go home once over the summer while i was taking classes, which was for the fourth of July. When summer finals ended, i was able to make it home for about 8 or nine days to see the family. i spent the majority of that time at my grandpa's place, which is about 45 minutes north of Mobile (where i'm from). It was so good to see him and he expressed how happy he was to see me--another way that the Lord revealed His love. However, the night that i got to his house, i experienced a huge scare. We were sitting in the living room talking and catching up and he left and went into his room for a minute. He came back out and didn't sit down, but stayed standing and leaned against his chair. He then said, "We need to go to Mobile. I need to go to the hospital. Something happened a few minutes before you got here and I just can't seem to shake it off." Of course, my stomach leaped into my throat but i didn't ask any questions. We hopped in the truck and started speeding towards Mobile. i did the only thing i knew to do at the time and that was run to the Lord and pray and drive. After we got on the road, i asked him what happened. He couldn't really explain it but from my understanding, he had fallen asleep in his chair and awoke to use the restroom. He got up from his chair and almost collapsed on the floor. After taking time to gather himself, he got some water and sat back down. However, he remained light-headed and felt extremely weak. He felt very hot and his body became very flushed. This was right before i arrived.
So we keep driving and he decides to call 911 and speak with someone about what happened. The person told him that an ambulance was close to where we were and advised us to meet them. After talking with my grandpa, we felt that this was the best thing to do instead of driving all the way to Mobile. So we met up with the paramedics and they ran a bunch of tests. i continued to pray and was able to get in contact with a couple of my friends to let them know what was going on so that they could be praying for him as well. My grandpa struggles with high blood pressure and periodically with an uneven heart beat (which i think is known as a murmur). He does take medicine for all of this. Anyway, his blood pressure was pretty high when we got there but it eventually came down. After they finished running the tests, they said that they didn't find anything abnormal and my grandpa was feeling much better by this time, but if it happened again, to call them or head to the hospital. Otherwise, they said that he could go home. He didn't have anymore problems while i was there and we had an incredible time together. What an amazing and faithful God we have!

The Friday after i got in town, i went out with some friends that i hadn't seen in awhile. i had a great time. After it had gotten late or--to be correct, early in the morning, we decided to head home. i had to take people home and we were waiting around outside to make sure we had everyone and i ended up meeting a guy named Randy. He had his drink in hand and he was probably in his mid 40s. His teeth were missing and his body wasn't well taken care of. i figured he was either homeless or close to it. He did have a job so he had some type of income. We chatted for awhile and by this time, everyone was ready to go. i told him that i needed to leave and he asked for five dollars to help him get a cab ride. i asked him where he was going and he said an area that i knew was pretty far away--far enough that 5 dollars wouldn't get you there. i became skeptical and a taxi was right across the street so i told him that i would ask the cab driver how much it would cost to take him to where he wanted to go and i would just give the money to the cab driver. i started walking that way and Randy then starts trying to persuade me, "Hold on man, you ain't gotta do all that, man just wait...i will get another cab up the street, just hold on man...." Of course i knew now that he really didn't need a cab ride and made up my mind that i wasn't going to give him the money. But before i could leave, the Lord said, "Give it for me. Any act of kindness or service done in My Name never goes unnoticed." So that's what i did. God revealed His love for Randy through my deed, however, what i failed to do was share the Good News in word. We are called to preach the gospel in both our words and our deeds. God has revealed that this is something i need to work on by completely and wholeheartedly surrendering to Him. i have no doubt that the Lord can turn any small seed of faith into something large and amazing. This is my hope and prayer for Randy and for you.

PRAYER REQUEST

2008-07-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. I don't really know who reads my blog, but for those that do, one of my best friends---Meredith--- and her family need prayer. Her mother is having health issues. They are still waiting to hear more information from the doctors, but pray that she gets the treatment that she needs and that the process will be smooth and timely. Prayer is probably the most powerful thing that we can do as children of God, and our God is a God that saves and heals. Please keep her and her family on your hearts.

Here is some information from Meredith.......

No one wants to hear the word cancer out of their mother's mouth
This Friday I found out that my mom has pancreatic cancer. I was shocked- Still am. I don't know some of you that well, but some of you have become my very closest friends and hope that becomes true for all of you.The location of the malignant mass is blocking function to my mom's other organs, causing backing up of bile. Jaundice occured, causing her to be alarmed, because that was one of the first signs that my grandmother, who passed away of pancreatic cancer had. Jaundice, causes yellowing of the eyes and skin. Specifically, she hasn't been eating hardly at all or sleeping. She is in pain and is exremely fatigued. We won't know anything about the procedures or dates of operation and medication until we hear back from the hospitals that offer the best surgery options. Please pray that she is blessed with an opening for immediate operation, and the operation runs smoothly( it is an 8-15 hour procedures and about a two week recovery) and that after the surgery, the cancer will have been defeated. I really don't know what else to say. If you've read this far- thank you. I love you all very much.PLEASE keep her in your prayers, our family and friends

Far from comfortable

2008-07-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

The other day, i was having lunch in chick-fil-a. It was around 3:00 and i had a little time before i needed to go into work, so i decided to eat there instead of the usual "grab-and-go." i don't know if it was the time of day or some other factor, but i was the only customer there at the time; of course, a few more people came in and out while i was eating, but for the most part i was the only one. So, i'm sitting there enjoying my #4 combo and i look outside and notice that the drive through line is backed up a good ways--there were probably 7 or 8 cars in line. Initially, i didn't understand why this was happening--why people were choosing to sit in a long line instead of coming in to order. Then it hit me (and you're probably already on top of it); it's all about convenience and comfort. Now i have nothing against drive-throughs, i love them and i'm glad we have them. i'm also not knocking the people that use the drive-through on a regular basis---i'm usually one of those people. But, how often do we refrain from doing something because we're too comfortable in our current situation, or, how often do we make a decision based on how comfortable it will make things. Even though the Lord shows us truth, many times we disobey God because we don't want to leave our comfort-zone....."I'm going to stay in this horrible situation, because it's just too convenient and comfortable." "I'll just keep so and so around because it's comfortable and move on later." "I'll get to that some other day; I'm too comfortable right now." Our walk with God brings us so much joy and happiness, but it is far from something comfortable. God is definitely our comforter, but we would not need Him to comfort us if we were never uncomfortable. Basically what i'm getting to is that we MUST stop living according to what we ourselves think is comfortable. When we create our own standards, it leads to complacency and backsliding. And on top of that, it limits the power of God--what He can do in and through us. The Lord is our savior; He desperately loves us, and He has forgiven us and covered us with His grace. But He's also the God that calls us into uncomfortable situations to bring glory to His name; He's the Warrior that calls us into battle to fight the good fight.

i just graduated with an accounting degree and i'm finishing up the last classes that i need to be able to sit for the CPA exam--to become a certified public accountant. This is something that the Lord has given me an interest in, it could probably be considered a passion. But, just because doing public accounting would be comfortable for me and my family (if i'm blessed with one), and even if i love it, doesn't necessarily mean that i'm making plans to be doing that all my life. i have somewhat of a general idea of where i'll be starting, but the Lord may have me doing accounting for a year and then have me ministering to Eskimos at the North Pole after that---i have no idea. i just know that the Lord has given us many interests/passions/gifts for a reason--to bring glory to Him. In thinking about my passions, next to the Lord, people are at the top. i also have a love for music, and as hard as it probably is for you to read this...accounting as well. Think about a hot fudge sundae or a shiver from TCBY ;)......each is made of different types of ingredients such as yogurt, peanut butter cups, chocolate syrup, etc...Each of these things would be amazing by themselves---we would probably enjoy having each as a treat. But, while each ingredient is independently great, how amazing is it when you combine them all together to make one finished product. And now, i'm getting hungry. i know that the things that i'm passionate about will always be part of my life and i'm trusting the Lord to somehow intertwine them and possibly reveal new passions down the road as He forms me into the man He wants me to be.

Wherever the Lord has us, whether it be in Auburn, AL; Atlanta, GA; New York; Australia; Africa; Russia; or some other place that no one has heard of; there is a need. He puts us in places where we're needed. When the Lord puts something or someone on our heart, there is a need--whether that be through prayer, a phone call, or flying many miles from home to help stop human trafficking (forced labor, prostitution, servitude---mainly female children) in Mexico or Thailand. It's important for us to keep our heart and mind open to the Lord, no matter what our current situation is. We need a huge awakening and i think that starts with us focusing our eyes on the Lord. We've got to stop seeing Jesus for who we want Him to be, and start seeing Him for who He really is.

Let go of the shovel

2008-06-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

Why is it that sometimes we find ourselves in the pit of temptation or suffering and we blatently choose sin?---or maybe another, and probably better question(s) is, why do we sometimes sin, and not know it?----why does it take us witnessing the consequences of our sin, mainly seeing its effect on other people--usually those that we're closest to, before we come to the realization, "Hey, maybe what I did was wrong?" i believe 100% that it should never take us seeing how our words or actions have hurt someone else for us to come to that realization. However, i do know that the Lord uses that quite often to discipline his children because, most of the time, we just don't get it; we choose not to get it--pride. The thing is, there is never sin, without temptation. Temptation precedes sin. Even for the unbeliever that is held captive by their sin--there's always temptation before their wrongdoings--they just fail to realize it because of the scales that are covering their eyes. So what does the presence of temptation mean? It means hope, it means love, it means that you don't have to do whatever it is that you're about to do. Experiencing temptation is the last resort that our Father takes to keep us from doing wrong--it is a TANGIBLE interceding in our lives by the Holy Spirit that says, "BJ, I love you My son. It's not wrong of you to be tempted--I too was tempted. But through Me, you can overcome this and walk in freedom." Some may disagree and say that sometimes there isn't any temptation, but i would say to them... How could the Lord offer a way out of every situation (which He does) if that were the case? However, temptation is dangerous. i feel it could be described as the "middle ground" between death and freedom. And sometimes, we do give in--if we don't know Jesus, if we lose sight of the cross, or if we never really embraced the fact that we actually have the Holy Spirit living IN US, and the only way that it got there is through an amazingly indescribable Man, that overcame the temptation of all sin, yet placed all of that very sin on Himself so that in the very moment that we're facing that tempting decision, we can say, "This really might hurt them if i say it so i'm not going to," "This will probably turn me away from the Lord if i do that, i'm not going to do that," "Hey yall, i know we feel like we're able to drive and i know it's only a short distance home, but can we just take a taxi to be on the safe side--i would hate for one of us to get hurt or even worse, for someone else to," "My body is purified by the Spirit and it's a temple of God; we will not do that," and you could probably think of many others. Even though temptation is a sign of love and care from the Lord, it's still--as i said earlier, extremely dangerous because when it hits us, we're already walking on a thin layer of ice. We must do everything we can to prevent putting ourselves in tempting situations. We can't reason with ourselves that we will not give in to temptation everytime we face it because many times we will, and that's definitely not a reason to just forget about it or overlook it either.
Can we just embrace ourselves the way the Lord has embraced us? Can we look at ourselves and others through Holy eyes? Can we encourage and pray for those that have wronged us? Can we just say, "i'm sorry," or "Thank you," or "i really appreciate you" (as small as that may seem, it can have huge impact on another person)---why do we have to tear each other down and wound ourselves the process? Can we learn what it means to live in the truth of "You are forgiven, go and sin no more." i don't know about you, but to me, that seems like the most appealing thing. i'm definitely not perfect, i struggle, i'm a sinner. But that isn't what defines me and it isn't what defines you. We are defined by the cross. Perfection is not attainable here on earth, but i feel that we should at least try to be--the way that Jesus exemplified perfection. And in our trying, we must embrace the fact that we will fail. Just because we will never be perfect should not keep us from trying to be--or to put it another way, just because we know that we will fail should not keep us from trying to be. Failing should never seem attractive. However, if we are striving for perfection in life without realizing how imperfect we are, we will make that conquest only about ourself, which makes everything worse and also makes it difficult to approach the Lord when we do fail. Embracing our imperfection leads to humility and keeps our heart open to His voice and His guidance. You and i are loved unconditionally by the Savior of the world; what's not to love about that?

And....i kind of got off on a tangent with this post; it totally went in a different direction than i had intended. What i wanted to write about originally was similar, but quite different. So, i guess i'll have to save that one until next time.

my daily walk...learning about Jesusnomics

2008-06-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

So this post is the first of a series of posts (not necessarily one after the other) that are basically about my daily walk with God and how He shows up sometimes just to say "Hey, how's it going?" In previous posts, i kind of touched on how creation and all good things are from Him and for Him. With me being fairly busy these days, it's really important that i engage in worship throughout my day and keep my mind set on Him. If not, i become like the very ground that i walk on. In doing that, the Lord has been consistent in revealing His character and truth through the world around me---nature, relationships, and various other things; confirming that fact that "I am with you," and "I want you to know Me," and "I desire you."

The other day, i was thinking about my grandmother and how usually, each Christmas or for my birthday, she knits something for me--usually a blanket, or a shawl, or something similar. The amazing thing about this is that she's blind--not partially, but fully. And...it usually takes 3-5 weeks to finish a full blanket. But, she loves to knit and the amount of time doesn't matter because it's her most favorite thing to do. And in this, the Lord gave me a literal picture of how we can love something that we can't see--that yes, it is by faith in What we can't see that brings life. Now clearly, this isn't anywhere close to comparing to loving and having faith in the God that we can't see, but just one of many ways that the Lord spoke truth over me and kept my mind on Him.

A couple of things that came to mind yesterday as i was thinking about pride, society, the world, etc...were roads and gas prices---random, i know. But anyway, roads help us get from one place to another. They're usually nice and smooth, and provide the easiest way to get places...and you probably see where i'm going with this. For us to have a place in mind and venture off the road to try and make our own way would not be smart at all. The "way" to get to wherever you want to go is already provided for you--why make it harder on yourself? The path to God is straight, yet narrow---it's not a 4-laner. But it's there, and it's been cleared. And not only has a road been provided for you, but so has a vehicle--Jesus. And He's standing there like a limo driver, holding the door open, waiting and wanting you to get in. It's a free ride---where do you want to go?

As frustrating as it is to pay "through the roof" prices for gas these days, at least we have access to transportation and its lifeblood. We're not in a place where we must walk to get everywhere--we should be thankful for that. My heart breaks for people that must do that.
Gas could probably be described as one of the things that keeps this world spinning round. So much depends on it--almost every form of transportation. And as the world grows, its dependency and need for fuel will also grow, until an alternate fuel source is found. More than likely, the price of gas will rise as well, at least according to economics---we have scarce resources that must be allocated to individuals with unlimited wants and needs (and what do you know--pride is the center of something else). And if supply is low and demand is high, higher prices will follow suit---and because we need gas so badly, we will pay the higher prices. The more i learn about the heart and character of God and the more He reveals himself to me, the more that i realize my need for Him. And not only do i realize my need for Him, but i desire to be in His presence, i want to grow with Him, i want others to see Him, i want others to experience and live in the grace and the joy that He gives---that can only be found in Him and not any other alternate form or source. As i understand more about my need for Him and my wanting, the more i realize that i'm willing to pay a higher price. And not only is there a willingness, but a desire to pay a higher price. Jesus paid the ultimate price so that we could truly live. Paying a higher price in life means sharing more in the sufferings of Christ. And this leads to expansion of the kingdom. Call it spiritual economics, if you will.

Opposites don't attract

2008-06-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

i was watching Larry King Live very briefly the other night. A certain individual was on there; i won't say their name, but anyway...Larry was asking this person about their views on faith, afterlife, etc... And then he asked this person the question, "Do you accept Darwin?" This individual replied, "Yes I do, but I would give up Darwin if the creationists gave up their belief in the 7-day account of creation. I mean...that's what's holding this world up." First off...i don't know about you, but this remark makes absolutely no sense to me...But anyway, about the comment itself-- There's definitely a spitefullness about it. You can see the spiritual dysfunction here--the enemy is clearly an envious being and our pride naturally tells us to belittle, manipulate, and do whatever else it takes to make ourselves feel superior to anyone or anything that seems to be "ahead of," or "intruding upon," or "better" than us. And i could see the true hurt and pain that this person was suppressing, the hurt and pain that they were totally oblivious to. But after hearing the comment, i was first filled with intense emotion--anger, frustration, various other synonyms, and after calming down, i then realized that this is the view that so many people have in our country as well as others. Take our country for example--we're immersed in a society where pride is placed on a pedestool, where we're taught to put ourselves above anything, that it's up to us to make something of our lives--independent of anyone or anything else and any benefit we reap because of that hard work is because "I worked hard to get where I am," or "I grew up with nothing but I made something out of nothing," and you could make your own list. We're immersed in a culture where the most important decision in life is determining to withdraw or rollover your 401K.
Our society teaches us everything that is contrary to Christian belief. Everything that the world teaches and tries to push on us is totally the opposite of what is taught in the Word. It was written thousands of years ago and warned us about the evilness of the world--that conforming to it leads to death; how true is that today? But i guess the fact that the Word matches up with that reality is just a total coincidence. If you believe in creation, you more than likely believe in the crucifixion. For someone to say or believe that believing in creation/the crucifixion is the reason that our "world" is held up, is, i'm sorry to say it, but crazy. Of course, it does say in the Bible that the "truth is foolish to them," but it still doesn't discharge the fact that it's an absured thing to believe. In the garden, Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit. Everything was perfect but was tarnished because of that. Many people think that the "sin,"--the "fall of man" happened because Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit. Yes, that is true and to disobey God is a sin. But, the fall of man happend when Adam and Eve decided to consider themselves equal to God, worthy of being all-knowing. It happened when they let pride convince them that their desire was power, not God. And pride is now the root of all evil. From that, all of the "junk" that is in the world is because of pride. Murder, rape, the aids epidemic, even hunger along with everything else that is awful is a direct result of what happened in the garden. Murder and rape happen because someone considers themself superior to another and because someone doesn't care about controlling their desires--even though they know it's wrong. The rapid spreading of aids is due to people only caring about themselves, not even taking into consideration the other person. It's due to people being too prideful to go to the doctor to get help because they're ashamed... because they're afraid of what people might think. They end up being convinced of.. "Surely you're not sick, surely you won't die, surely you won't bring anyone else down with you...." "The fruit does look delicious, and pleasing on the eyes, and desireable,".....yeah, I think I'll eat it. i attribute the hunger epidemic to the curse that God place on the ground beacause of Adam's passiveness and decision to step down as a leader. Food no longer springs forth from the ground as it did in the garden. Pride is the reason that this world is "lagging behind."

Many people care so much about saving the environment and ridding it of the pollution and nastyness that we put into it. And i'm all for doing things to help the environment and make it better, but the world was never meant to last forever in the first place. And the problem is not environmental pollution---it's spiritual and moral pollution. We're so concerned about what we're putting into the earth, and just about the world in general that we fail to realize what we exhale into the individuals that inhabit it. The gospel is foolishness to the world but is life-giving to followers of Christ. It is the Thing that is the best tasting, the most pleasing on the eyes, and the most desireable. YES, i will feast on that.

i believe in the Savior. i am awaiting His return. But what i find perplexing is that, if at the end of the world, it were not true, i still wouldn't want to live my life any other way. And not one nonbeliever can make a valid argument against the fact that if everyone lived according to the Word, it would definitely be a much better place. What's really exciting is that you who are wounded, you...the one being held captive by your past sin, by past decisions, you...the individual that thinks your problems are too big for God and that He won't understand, are invited into an amazing story of grace--a never ending story. You live your life on earth as if you'll live here forever and not even death can touch you...why not surrender that life and actually receive eternal life, AND actual victory over death, AND true joy, AND life to the fullest, on top seeing and experiencing some cool things along the way. Forgiveness awaits, grace is ready to relieve you of the weight that you've put on yourself. Jesus desires you and so desparately wants to bring healing.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7: 7-8

Do work son

2008-06-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks have been extremely demanding. This entire summer has been very "labor-intensive" as far as school goes and with that, a complete lack of sleep has followed. Physically, i'm drained. But the Lord has been so amazing and loving in all of this. He continues to remind me that He has allowed everything to happen as a way of drawing me into Him. It's only by our dependency on the Lord that the trials of life can be overcome, whether we consciously realize it or not. i've learned alot about what it means to rest in midst of my"busy-ness." Usually, i think of rest as quietness, stillness, intimacy, etc... And those are all good things, but not necessarily applicable in every situation--at least not in the form that we normally think of those terms. We can still have that closeness and fellowship with the Lord even if it seems as though we "don't have enough time." In this season of life, i've realized that resting doesn't always mean STOP what you're doing and take a break from the things you need to do. But sometimes, we just need to pause.............and take a moment to think about why we're doing these things and for Whom we're doing them. We must speak truth over ourselves. And this could take anywhere from a split-second to......whenever. A "quiet-time" isn't required for us to have intimacy with the Lord, although alot of times, that's what it takes for us to draw near to Him. i've learned that the desire to work hard and put in the time that it takes to get stuff done, whether it be school related, job-related, family-related, etc...is a blessing from the Lord. He wants us to work hard at the things that are required of us; He wants us to be fruitful. The Lord gives us all different passions and purposes, but the key thing there is that they are FROM HIM. And anything from Him is FOR HIM, so giving us passions to pursue in life is ultimately a way that the Lord reveals Himself to us and to other people. Our passions are means to glorifying the Lord and allowing His character to be mirrored through our actions and reflected to everyone around us. He shows us that our one true purpose is Him and because He is the Lord of all things and unfailing, purposes can't fail. "Our" purposes can fail because they're of the flesh, but not His....Never. He is solid and cannot be shaken. He's also united us as the body so that we can encourage and pray for one another and i'm grateful for everyone He's put in my life. Life isn't going to get any easier from here (it will from a wordly perspective)......through my surrender, i'm actually called to suffer and will. And i could push Him aside to pursue my own ambitions and probably be "happy." But, a surrendered life is far too beautiful to do so.

the Source of change

2008-05-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

Many of us are, no doubt, surrounded by people that we know need change in their lives. It probably is what we would classify as radical change. This "observation"--if you will, doesn't come from judging the individual, but is a result of the words and actions that flow out of the person that we know are contrary to the character of Christ. It says in Matthew 7 that we can identify a tree or a person by the fruit that is produced. However, I think we must first examine ourselves before anything. The Word asks, "How can we attempt to help remove a stick from someone's life when we have a log in ours?" In other words, we can't help someone with their problems or even qualify our advice if we haven't trusted God for any problems that we may have. Trusting and turning to Him with our own individual problems/sin is critical in our walk with Him and must be priority before we attempt to help someone else with their problems. We would be a hypocrite if we didn't do that. Continuing.... I know an apple tree when I see it because it produces apples. An apple tree serves no other purpose but to produce apples--that is what it was made to do. The same is true for humans--we were created in the image of God with the purpose of displaying the character of Jesus through the words that we speak and our actions (that we would produce edible and delicious fruit)--all so that our King may be glorified and that we could be with Him in the end.
Something that I've consistently dealt with--something that I've constantly had to be reminded of is that I can't change a person and I definitely can't fix their problems. No individual can do this. We can't even fix our own problems. I've had a tendency in the past--if I knew a person was struggling or not walking with the Lord, to jump in and try to fix things. I have some people that are very close to me that have pushed Jesus aside and have chosen to pursue their own path. It's evident in the way they live--the choices they make; the things they say. It hurts me deeply and is frustrating at times to see what is missing in their lives--that being Jesus, and watch them suffer as a result. The Lord has consistently humbled me and has made me realize that the Thing missing from their lives is the only Thing that can fix or change anything. Jesus is the only way, NOT ME. I will never be able to say or do enough of what is right to be the reason for change. So what is my role in a situation like this? To live how I've been called to live--to act and speak in love, that everything I do would reflect the character of Jesus--this being possible because it's the Spirit working through me; everything good is from the Lord and for the Lord. So what does that mean--well, we offer words of wisdom when we're called on and make sure that our actions are in line with His will--that we act in obediance and love. We must yield to the Spirit at all times before we act or speak, and even more so, before we can be of any influence on another individual. However, the most powerful thing we can do for someone that is struggling or isn't in a relationship with the Father is not to say or do all of the right things, but to intercede on their behalf through prayer. And I think that should be our priority. This will keep our focus on God and off of ourselves. We can trust the Lord to reveal Himself to the other individual(s), because He will. In the end, it's up to that individual to make the choice themself.

Lost for Words

2008-05-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to be called to Swaziland, Africa last summer. What an amazing spiritual journey that was. I don't know if I would've gained the perspective on life that I have had I not gone. I'm sure this is true for so many others that have done missions and could be true for so many others that are ignoring that call to GO. I want to elaborate on this, but will have to save it for another post. Something else is on my mind and was the reason I wanted to write this post.

So....I was sitting here, thinking about my trip to Swaziland last summer--particularly about one experience with the Spirit that was unlike anything I had ever experienced up to that point or to this day. On this day, we were at an orphan care point to help clean the children, take care of any little cuts or scrapes they might have had, we gave them all new clothes, and we did anything else that needed to be done. My particular duty was to transport water from the well to a large plastic container with a valve on the side so the Swazi women and children wouldn't have to fetch water from the well everytime they needed it. This consisted of me, and many others pumping water into a 5-gallon bucket and walking it to the container, which was located in a garden (they also needed the water for the convenience of watering the garden). This container held about 200-250 gallons of water and it had a hole in the side towards the top. So, we're filling this container up and we couldn't see how full it was, but knew we were getting close. Then, as I'm pouring a bucket in, it starts overflowing through the hole on the side. Of course I stop and try to catch the overflowing water in the bucket and one of the women saw what was happening and came running over to help me. Now...F.Y.I. mother in Swazi is Magay and grandmother is Gogo and you address them by whichever applies, along with their name, if you know it. The woman that came running over was a gogo. The water finally stops overflowing and I give gogo a hug and say thank you--of course she couldn't really understand what I was saying but knew from the nonverbal communication that I was appreciative.
Now the good part.....after all this, as we're standing in the garden, I try to make conversation, but she only knew a few words. I was able to get her name. It was Grace---how beautiful is that- Grandmother (Gogo) Grace. Then I ask what all is planted in the garden and I mainly have to use sign language for this, but she gets what I'm trying say. So, she grabs my hand and we start strolling around in the garden. She points at and names everything and after repeating herself a few times, I finally understand what all I'm looking at--carrots, lettuce, tomatos, and peppers. After that, we stop walking and turn towards each other and I give her a hug, thinking that I'm going to go help out with the children, along with everyone else. But she doesn't let go....we ended up hugging for about 2 or 3 minutes, maybe longer. Embrace is a better word for that. Anyway, when we let go, we were still holding hands and our eyes locked on each other. I can already, tangibly, feel the presence of the Spirit at this point. All of the sudden, we just start smiling and laughing together for I don't know how long. Then she says to me, "I want to talk but I don't know how." And we continue laughing out loud. And in the middle of us laughing, she continually repeats herself--about wanting to talk but not knowing any words and everytime she says that, she continues to laugh as she is speaking. It's during this time that I realize how powerful the Holy Spirit is. Here I am in a foreign country, with a woman that hardly knows my language, much less me knowing hers, and yet we are connected by the Spirit. We are both experiencing the love of Christ together. We fully understand each other and need no words at all. It's so amazing how the Spirit connects the body. Her grip, then begins to tighten and we're still laughing at this point. Then she says something that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. She looks up and closes her eyes and says "PRAISE GOD!"..... laughter......"PRAISE GOD!" "OH JESUS!......JESUS!" Then she looks me in the eyes and says... "My child!"...."My child!" I'm so overwhelmed by the Spirit at this point, that I hit my knees in awe of the Father! And Gogo Grace is still yelling "PRAISE GOD," and so am I!! This continues for a while and when I'm able to get back up, we embrace each other, grab hands and walk out of the garden to her chair, which was under a large oak tree.
You know.....sometimes we forget that God is a perfect father. He's everything that we are and everything good that we're not. His love fills the cracks in our lives. He sees us for who we are, not for what we do. He is love, He is grace, He is the King! He is lacking nothing! We can always approach Him and receive forgiveness because of the cross. Jesus has RISEN! He is ALIVE and dwells in us and is NEVER DISTANT. How can something be distant that lives in us? No matter how much junk we've built up in our lives, no matter what horrible things we've done or said, no matter how much we feel like we can't approach our Father,.... because of Jesus, we are able to lay anything and everything at the cross--at the feet of Jesus. And it's there, that our Father will pick us up, embrace us, and look us square in the eye, and say, "My Child."

Love: The Perfect Display

2008-05-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

There are so many different things and events that make up a person's walk with God. Each person's path is a little different than the next; maybe a little bumpier, a little rougher, but different nonetheless. However, the commonality between all men and women of God is this: We all have a path that we've been called to walk and we possess the way to walk in Christ and through His word. Secondly, because of the guidance and power of the Holy Spirit, we are all walking in the same direction and it's only by the Spirit that we can continue on (or get back to if we venture away from) the path that has already been cleared for us. Although we live different lives and have different roles, we're united as one body because of what Jesus did on the cross--that is the foundation for all believers.
Our lives stand on Christ, who was the exact representation of God, but in human form. The most bewildering moment of Jesus' life was on that cross, where He hung to die--a mere criminal in the eyes of the people. It was in that moment, where all seemed lost, where the taunts of the people scathed out like the whip that lashed Him prior to his crucifixion, that God was at his best. It was there at the cross, that the ultimate demonstration of love and justice was displayed--it was there that He expressed a love greater than words could ever describe.

"This is what real love is: It is not our love for God; it is God's love for us in sending his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

I'll be the first to say that I'm guilty of losing sight of the cross. When I find myself stuck in a rut, acting in way that is totally the opposite of the man I've been called to be, totally the opposite of the character of God, the "why" that I ask myself is always the same; "I've lost sight of the cross. My pride and my own selfish ambitions have led me away from that path that I was called to walk." This is, no doubt true for everyone that ventures off the path. There is power in the cross--it's what defines our lives. I heard this in a sermon a while back and it was very convicting.......these are not the exact words, but we should never, ever hear about or talk about the cross and not be blown away in absolute amazement. It was the most incredible, amazing thing in the history of existence and was the only way that you and I could have life. We should never act like or look at it as just another event in history. And I ask this question: How often do you and I do just that?
His love for us is far bigger and better than we can imagine. Franklin Graham wrote, "The hope we have in Jesus is the anchor for the soul--something sure and steadfast, preventing drifting or giving way, lowered to the depth of God's love." It's time that we, myself included, embrace that and start living in the light of that truth.

"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in Him. God is love, and all who live in love, live in God, and God lives in them." 1 John 4:16

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 13